January 01, 2014

Out with the old, in with the...well, you get the picture!

Its new years day 2014! I'm not sure I've ever been more excited, relieved, grateful to be finished with a year than I am about being finished with 2013. 13 was a rough one for me.

And when I say rough I mean daily:
down in the trenches,
on my knees,
cryin in the shower,
walking through the desert,
fetal position in the corner,
rethinking every life decision I've ever made,
no words left to even try to explain it,
crying out to my ever lovin Savior


Most days when I woke up I just couldn't fathom how I would make it to the end of the day to be able to slither back into the bed under the covers and try to forget about it all again. I felt like I was being hit from every direction. Relationships with boys (I broke it off with my boyfriend on NYE last year....great timing, I know), relationships with girlfriends, relationships with family, struggles at work, financial decisions, health concerns and major life decisions.

Some things that only a few of my closest friends know about, and those girls have rallied around me with prayers and cried with me for months now.  Other things that not even those girls know about and I have carried deep within myself still not ready to share with anyone.  It has been a heavy year.

I've given up the response of "I'm fine" and have whole heartedly adopted "I just need a WIN"!

In the beginning of the year I wrote in large letters on bathroom mirror the word ENOUGH!  It was supposed to act as a reminder that even if I didn't ever get the life that I had imagine for myself (if I was never married, if I never had children, if I never had a job that I loved, etc.) that God was enough.  Everyday for a year now I have looked at that word and thought about how God, Jesus' sacrifice, needs to be enough for me.  I honestly still can't say that He is.  I want Him to be.  But in my heart I know that I still desire those things just as much, and sometimes more, than I desire Him.

I've decided to leave ENOUGH on my mirror to keep focusing on making Him enough.  But going forward I've chosen two verses for this year as well.

Psalm 126:5
    Those who sow with tears
shall reap with rejoicing

Isaiah 43:19
      Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See I am doing a new thing!
      Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

These are the promises I am holding fast to for the coming year!  I am praying for a WIN in 2014.  I am praying for lots of WINS!  For streams in my desert and rejoicing after all of my tears.

June 13, 2013


After my drip to Baltimore I headed down to DC for a conference. I hadn't been to DC since I was a little girl so I was really excited. While I was there I got to catch up with lots of friends. I forgot to get pictures with a lot of folks but did get some with my friend Pam in Georgetown and also with my friends Mike and Miriam and their new little man John Mark! Pam and I went to Georgetown and, of course, we HAD to make a stop at Georgetown Cupcake. YUM!!! Then we went and walked around the National Cathedral! Get Adobe Flash player
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One of the nights I was in DC I too a night time bus tour around all of the monuments. It was a great way to be able to see almost all of the big sites/monuments for someone who actually had very little free time to spend seeing the sites. I would highly recommend this tour! Get Adobe Flash player
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Last weekend I got to take a trip to Baltimore to visit my cousin Michael and Murat.  When I first arrived I spent some time in the aquarium by myself.  It was a great aquarium.  I could have spent all weekend there!

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On Saturday Michael and Murat were AMAZING tour guides and we did just about everything possible there is to do in Baltimore. I was worn out by the end of the weekend but I had such a great time visiting these guys!

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Jacksons Preschool Graduation

I can't believe this day came.  Jackson's preschool graduation.  When in the world did he grow up?  He is turning into such a little man!

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May 01, 2013

New camera!

I've been wanting a DSLR for many years now. My friend Becky (who does professional photography) gets a call about once a month answering my 8 million questions (most of which have been asked a dozen times already)!
Well, today, I finally pulled the trigger. Happy birthday to me! I am super excited to learn to use this new camera and, hopefully, improve my photography skills!!!

First harvest

First fruits from the garden! Blows my mind that I got real veggies from seeds I could barely see! I gobbled them up raw!!!

March 05, 2013


This has (or is going to be) my spring of changes. I started a new job this year, getting house projects done that I've been planning since I moved in (almost 3 years ago) and getting back to planting!
I have, in past years, tried to grow at least my own tomatoes each year but haven't done this since I went to head school. I'm excited to get back to it this year, and try my hand at a few more veggies too! I like to start from scratch with the seeds! So here is the seed box on day 1. I've got regular tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, green beans and summer squash! Can't wait to see if anything works!

January 30, 2013


It's been two and a half years since I bought my house and I FINALLY decided on fabric and made curtains. I'm really happy with the way it all turned out and it feels a lot more "homey" now!!!

May 02, 2012

Why I'm Voting "NO"

I'm not into politics.

In fact, it could be said that I pretty much hate politics.

Most politicians, Democrat or Republican, lie about pretty much everything.  And I hate lying.  I don't like the "smear" campaigns either.

I'm not a Democrat....or a Republican.  I never align well with either party or the person running.  At the end of the day, I get frustrated with every part of politics and I just turn my head and walk away.

I do, however, love my church. I love God and Jesus. I believe the bible.  I love my friends (even the ones  who I don't see eye to eye with) and I believe that each of them was created by God to be exactly who they are.  And I believe in marriage. And that marriage is a good thing.  And that marriage between a man and a woman is a good thing.

But when May 8th arrives and I go to vote, I will be voting NO for amendment 1.

I didn't come to this decision lightly.  And, in fact, I know there are going to be people that I consider to be friends who will think I am a "bad Christian" and maybe even some who won't be my friends anymore because of of this decision. But it's my decision.

I've prayed a lot about this particular issue and this is what I feel my heart has heard God saying.  God created all of us... man, woman, gay, straight, black, white, EVERYONE....in His image.  Jesus died for EVERYONE....man, woman, gay, straight, black, white, EVERYONE to have everlasting community with God in Heaven.  THE ONLY WAY for salvation is through accepting Jesus as your saviour.  THE ONLY WAY!  You can't get to heaven by being a good person.  Won't get into heaven by tithing "enough".  Not gonna get there by going to church every week.  And you certainly aren't getting into heaven because you married someone of the opposite sex.  In the same manner you won't be denied salvation because you weren't a good person, or you didn't tithe enough, or you didn't go to church every week, or because you were gay.

I also don't believe that Jesus would be signing any petition to deny rights to someone because they were gay.  The greatest commandment, in HIS words, is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength.  and the second is like it.  love your neighbor as yourself".  I can't help but think how much amendment 1 is NOT loving my neighbor.  My neighbor isn't just the family sitting next to me in church.  My neighbor is my garbage man, and the waitress who served me dinner last night, and the patients I take care of at work (this is where I struggle the most to LOVE my neighbor), and my boss, and my pastor, and the police man that gave me a ticket, and on and on.  And Jesus calls me to LOVE all of these people wether they are a family with a mom and dad and 3 kids or they are a drug addict or a prostitute!

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus.  I believe in helping people.  I believe in stopping injustice.  I believe that loving people is the best way to show them who Jesus is.  Mine is not to judge.  Mine is to LOVE!

Amendment 1 does not show God's Love.

I don't believe in amendment 1.

That's why I'm voting "no"!

July 31, 2011

Rules: Questions for when I meet my Maker

I'd like to introduce you to a new and ongoing collection of blog posts that I am going to make entitled

"Rules: Questions for when I meet my Maker"

These are rules that I believe, if followed, would make LIFE more enjoyable for all of us or just ponderings about certain strangeities of life and things I am definitely going to be asking my Maker about (yes, I realize that I just made up a number of the words in that last sentence....I'm okay with it). So, without further ado...

Rule #1 - Toe Hair

It is in my opinion that there is absolutely no need, anatomically or evolutionarily, for toe hair!
Eyelashes keep crap out of my eyes.
Even my longer and thicker than humanly normal arm and leg hair can be argued to keep me warm (or cool me off).
But toe hair serves no purpose besides
looking grose,
sticking out through my sandles,
and adding a step to the already arduous daily routine of shaving!

What's even stranger is that its not always there. Some days "my" toes look waxed, and other days I swear I could dread "my" toe hair. This is seriously going to be one of my questions when I meet my Maker!

*** It should be noted that any knowledge of and/or understanding about toe hair can neither confirm nor deny the presence or absence of toe hair on my own personal toes. These thoughts are merely speculation and observation!