Perseverance!

I was off my routine last week because I was at camp for work (see previous post) but I DID pack my running gear for the weekend in hopes of getting in at least 1 good run.

Well, I did exactly that....1 good run. It was tough fitting in a run into such a crazy weekend but one of my co-workers and I decided to take some time on Friday morning to get out there.

It was fun to have someone to run with, and a new place to run as well. We ran on the road just outside of camp which is this long winding, basically flat road that goes by farms and fields and beautiful EVERYWHERE.

Because we didn't get to start as early as I'd hoped, it was already pretty hot and I didn't know how far to run so I just decided to go until I felt like I was going to die and that would probably be about the right distance.

Well, we ran for a while, and I definitely felt like dying. Later on I was able to clock it with my car and I ended up running 1.8 miles! Go me!

I spent the rest of the day with a horrible migraine. I'm may have to rethink the outdoor running in the heat thing. Just glad I was able to push myself further than I thought. Honestly, if i'd known how far I'd gone, I probably would have stopped running a lot sooner!

Celebrate!

This past weekend I attended Camp Celebrate, a camp for pediatric burn survivors hosted by the NC Jaycee Burn Center. This was my second year and it was just as much fun as the first year!

The camp is held at Camp Kanata...a YMCA camp in Wake Forest!

After all of the kids register at Triangle Town Center Mall the get to ride fire trucks in a parade the whole way up US 1 into camp! Fire stations from all over the state show up to volunteer for the parade and for the entire weekend. Its so much fun and such an honor to have them support and love these kids the way they do!

The Wake Forest FD cooked us dinner Thursday night! It was super yummy!

The theme for camp this year was "bringing back the 80's". Natalie and KC are two of the nurses in the burn unit and the 3 of us made up the "medic's" for the weekend. Here we are sporting some of our 80's headgear for the weekend!

There were a few articles in the N&O from the weekend if you are interested in reading more.

http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/05/21/1213530/burn-survivors-see-camp-as-a-balm.html

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/9628571/

This is one of the parts of my job that I really love and I hope to be able to participate in this camp for many years to come!

and then there were 3!

Ran my third mile tonight....

And while it seems hard to believe, it was actually a bit easier. NOT EASY, just easier!

My lungs didn't burn so much, and I didn't collapse and die at the end. Progress is being made!

Finished up in the rain. VERY refreshing!

"Day 2"

I ran my second mile today.

It wasn't any easier than the first. Maybe tomorrow will be! Ha!

However.....

I decided that I would be doing my "miles" in my neighborhood. I have this teeny tiny little neighborhood and the entire circle is only 0.4 miles. So I walk half a lap (0.2 miles) to warm up and then run 2.5 laps around for my mile.

Tonight it was so fun because I saw tons of neighbors out in their front yards with kids, folks walking their dogs, mom's pushing babies in strollers, and a few other "runners". It was so fun to get out in my little community and see people. I'm hoping that as the summer goes on I will be able to get to know these folks more and more and build relationships with them.

2 down, 98 to go!

I'm sorry....did I really sign up for this?

So today was my "day 1". Officially the running starts this Saturday but I'm going to be out of town so I started today.

Lets just state the facts here.

1. I have "pretended" to be a runner for a lot of years now.

2. At one point in time, I actually could run 5 or 6 consecutive miles outside without dying (though it was usually a close call)

3. This is NOT that "one point in time"!

For a while now, I have only run on the treadmill and only done about 3 miles at a time. Today that changed. Not only do I want to reach my 100 mile goal for the summer, but I'd like to try to do it outside. The problem is, running outside is SOOOO much harder. Its not air conditioned, there are bugs, and the ground simply will NOT propel itself under foot like the treadmill does!

But I did it. My first mile, non-stop, outside! And as my feet hit the last steps of pavement leading up my driveway, the skies opened up and poured down cleansing rain! I will consider this the Lords way of giving me a fresh start!

1 down, 99 to go!

RunWithMe

Earlier in the year I got to hear 3 of the sweetest boys stand up at our missions festival and talk about how they were raising support for a Christian school in Malaysia and an orphanage in Cambodia. Last summer they had set out to run 100 miles and through that goal they were able to raise over $2000!

This summer they have asked others to join them and have added another missionary to the list of who they are supporting. Go check out their blog at RunWithMe!

I've been able to get to know their parents a bit through my sunday school class at church and this family is pretty amazing! They spent 5 years over in Malaysia and now they are back stateside!

I'm excited, and a bit nervous, to join in the adventure this summer! If you would like to support me just send me an email to let me know. I'm asking for $0.10/mile ($10 for the entire 100 miles) or whatever you are able to give!

I'm also asking for prayers and encouragement. HA!

Elon College Freshman Girls Small Group Reunion Weekend

Alternately titled: Who needs therapy when you have great girlfriends?

Alternately titled: Why is crying so therapeutic for women?

Alternately titled: I can't wait until next year.

I'm pretty sure I was the first to cry. I'm also pretty sure I was the last one still crying. I'm positive I was not the only one that cried. But let me start from the beginning...

For at least 2 years we have been trying to plan a reunion of the girls who were in our Freshman Girls Small Group bible study together. It was a group that, at the time, we all just liked being part of, but would all realize in the years to come was pivotal in each of our lives.

Almost 13 year to the day of our first meeting, about a thousand emails, and almost no formal planning whatsoever, 6 of us from the original group gathered together at a lake home owned by one of the girls' in-laws. We each needed to be there for very different reasons, and yet we all had come for the exact same reason. 13 years ago a bond had been formed that would forever bind us to one another.

Between the 6 of us there are 7 1/2 children, 5 husbands, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 single girl. Yes, in case you hadn't picked up on it, that last one is me. And in case you don't pick up on it by the end, that same last point is the basis of all things involving tears on my end of the weekend.

Courtney's known her husband practically her entire life and their son just turned 1.

Katie met her husband in college and their daughter will turn 1 in just a few weeks.

I introduced Sara to her husband when we were in college and their son will be 3 in December and a second is due in February.

Anna's known her husband since high school and their daughter is 2.

Susan met her husband shortly after college and their kids are 2,4 and 6.

And then there's me.

Don't get me wrong, I've traveled the world, gone to grad school, I stay out as late as I want (which, lets admit, isn't very late), spend money on whatever I want...and I do it all alone.

On a daily basis I feel like I am surrounded by co-workers who tell me how lucky I am not to have a spouse at home upset about how much I work, married friends who remind me how much harder married life is than being single, pastors who preach about being content in the life you have and trust in God's plan for my life of singleness right now. And most of the time, all I want to do is scream, cry, and run away. But I don't. I smile. I nod. I agree that they are probably right.

Which is why I needed this weekend. There is a closeness, an easy vulnerability, a knowledge of each other without ever having to explain yourself that somehow formed between all of us when we weren't even paying attention.

Instead of having to put on the brave face, the smile that I was screaming behind, I finally let my guard down the crumbled. And they knew.

We all cried this weekend. Some for the people that are in their lives, some for the people they'd lost, and some for the people we wish were in our lives.

But we also laughed. A LOT!

p.s. court....no pictures!

Product Review - Amy's Organic Soy Cheeze Pizza

As most of you know, I'm lactose intolerant. It started about 2 years ago. And in those two years, I developed a hand full of other food allergies.

So I've been cutting more and more things out of my diet, scrabbling to find things to replace them with and have decided to take baby steps towards eating an all natural diet.

I was never a big pizza eater before. I LOVE cheese but hated the greasy oiliness that it created on a pizza.

I decided to give this Amy's pizza a try, though, and I am EXTREMELY pleased!

This pizza isn't in the least bit greasy or oily (I assume because the cheese is actually soy) but it tastes wonderful too. The Crust was crunch and the sauce was sweet. This may be a new favorite treat!

(I was even able to find some coupons for Amy's pizza's)

And this, too, shall pass!

On December 30th I wrote a blog post that basically outlined what a crappy year I had had. But, hopefully, you also read about my HOPES for the coming years.

Part of that post was centered around what a difficult year my FATHER had and all that he had gone through on the road to recovery. Just before Thanksgiving he had returned to work and was doing REALLY WELL as he regained strength little by little, day by day.

Unfortunately, after only about 2 months, all of his symptoms have returned. He deteriorated quickly back to the point he had been at his worst.

My parents called the neurosurgeon in California and scheduled the same round of tests and procedures that worked the last time. The are scheduled to fly out tomorrow morning and begin tests on Monday morning.

Mother nature has a confusing sense of humor. Pittsburgh has been dumped with close to 2 FEET OF SNOW in the last 24 hours. Snowed in, and without power, they now don't know if they will make it out tomorrow. In all my 18 years of living in Pittsburgh I don't remember ever being truly snowed in or without power.

Please keep my father in your PRAYERS as they TRY to get to CA and then for everything they will do out there. Please pray that this time, his results will last MUCH longer!

On a happier note...

The Lord has been teaching me (a very stubborn and slow to learn student) so much about faith and trusting HIS timing!

How amazing His lessons are, though. Sometimes, it seems, He must push us to our very limits in order to get us to trust and lean solely on Him!

I am happy to announce that, in HIS PERFECT TIMING, I was offered a job (and accepted it) at UNC hospitals working in the Jaycee burn center.

(I can see that "oh my gosh, that's going to be really horrible" look on your face right now...but don't worry, I am REALLY excited about it)

They are currently taking care of some patients from Haiti! What an honor!

The doctors in the video links (Dr. Jones and Cairns) will be my attendings. I am so excited to work with them and the rest of the team.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement throughout the process!

THIS, is going to be a great job!

"NO" Guilt

Are you one of those people that thrives off of staying busy?

Do you find yourself always saying "yes" when asked to join, commit, volunteer, etc.?

Do you feel like you could be a founding member of a group called 'Over Committers Anonymous'? ***

Me too!

I've always been one of those people that loves to join in. I hate to miss a good time or an opportunity to help someone out. In fact, about 5 or 6 years ago, one of my friends and I actually joked about starting a group called Over Committers Anonymous (OCA) but then figured we were just adding to our own demise because we would never be able to say "no" to the invitation to join our own group.

But lately, I have really been striving to be intentional in the way I spend my time and who I spend it with.

This, however, comes with an overwhelming feeling of guilt about saying "NO"!!!

Just the other day, a friend called me looking for a baby sitter for her cousin's baby. This particular baby is extremely LOW maintenance and she knows that I really love cuddling this sweet little girl. But she needed someone for the ENTIRE day, and I already had plans for the morning. For a moment, I even considered backing out of my morning plans just so I didn't have to say no to the babysitting job (a little backwards I know). And after I told her I wouldn't be able to do it and hung up the phone, I felt guilty!

I even ended up calling her back to tell her I could do the second half of the day if she needed me to.

Why is it so hard to say 'no'? And why do I even have to have a reason to say no? Couldn't I just say "I don't think I want to do it"? (even though I would have liked to watch this particular little cutie pie).

Do you have "NO" guilt???

Curling: the making of a future Olympian

On Friday night my friend Bobby organized for a group of us to go to a

local indoor ice rink and attend a "Learn to Curl" clinic.

At first, I was really skeptical. I'd seen curling on t.v. and, to

be quite honest, it looked like a joke.

People in sneakers shoving huge rocks across ice while others used

brooms to "sweep" it into position. I mean, SERIOUSLY?!?!

The whole "sport" was a joke, right?

But I went anyway. And I am SOOOO glad that I did.

We had such a fun night.

The evening started out with a 30 minute classroom instruction session.

And then we moved out on to the ice.

Here I am trying to move one of the stones.

Each of the stones weighed over 40 pounds!!!

Now that we were on the ice, we were taught how to put our feet in the starting block, how to use the brooms for stability when throwing your stone, and how to NOT fall over when actually throwing the stone (you wear a silicone liner on the bottom of one shoe to make it super slippery...and it works! It was extremely hard to stay on your feet when that thing was on)

After a lot of practice in form and function, we were finally let loose to put all the steps together.

Here I am pushing off out of the starting block

Here I go sliding, and forgetting to let go of the stone!

Once you let go of the stone there was almost NO chance of staying vertical!

And last, but not least, here is me after I released my stone. This is also where I spent a good portion of the evening, on my butt on the ice.

This must have been a picture of my 4th or 5th try because most of my first throws ended with me sprawled out flat on my belly across the ice.

It was SO hard, but SO fun. We laughed really hard all night long and will have some great stories to tell for a long time.

Oh...and I almost forgot. NBC-17 was there to film the whole evening. AND they will be airing the footage locally during the 2010 winter olympics. There were quite a few times that they had the camera pointed right at me, and one time particularly that I did that graceful spread eagle across the ice move. So keep your eyes peeled during the olympics, maybe you'll see me!

new year challenge

"...forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead." Philippias 3.13

I came across this verse in my daily devotion on new years day.

It struck me as so perfect for a verse to take me from the hardest year of my life (2009) to, what I hope to be, one of the best years of my life (2010)!

So my challenge (NOT resolution) to myself is to to look forward to the joy and blessing that lies ahead for me and not dwell and the hardships of the past.

This, in no way, means that I will "forget" what I have learned by coming through those rough times, but I am choosing not to dwell on how crappy it has been.

Help to keep me accountable to this! This is me formally giving anyone and everyone permission to gently "remind" me to dwell on blessings and not on hardship!

Won't you too look towards how He is blessing YOU this year?!?!

NYE 2009

New Years Eve has always been a big deal for me. I think it's because its one of those holidays when people DON'T go home to families but instead opt to celebrate with friends.

This year my friend Eric had a bunch of us over for a pot luck dinner. He made some super yummy beef and veggie stew and everyone else brought fantastic yummy sides.

After dinner at Eric's I stopped over at my friends Rob and Meredith's house for their annual party.

And finally, around 11 I landed at my friend Jason's house for a quiet countdown with friends. It turned out to be a really fun night.

Back row: Lori, Me, Erin

Front Row: Laura, Jay, Jason, Su-Anne, Bryan

New Years day couldn't have been better. I got up at 8 (who know's why I didn't sleep in but oh well), cleaned the house, went to "Virginia" to cook breakfast with Jason, Su-Anne and Erin, went to the gym and ran 4 miles (yes, 4 miles and I kept breathing the entire time), and then landed at my friend Todd's house for the rest of the day/night to watch all of the bowl games with great friends.

What an absolutely perfect two days with friends. I wish every day could be so sweet!

I am really excited about 2010 and how great it is going to be!

Emma Juliet Bray

On November 3 Emma Juliet Bray made her entrance into the world. The daughter of my college friend Katie and her husband Jason, Emma is perfect in every way.

Sara and I were able to meet sweet Emma the next day.

The new mama and her sweet baby girl!

I love this picture of Sara!

The sweet girl 2 weeks later at our second visit! What a beautiful baby girl!

Some cuddle time with baby Emma. She is probably the most laid back baby I've ever seen. Always happy as long as she's being cuddled!

New Years Resolutions

It's a long post, but its my life! I dare you to read it all!

It's the time of year that everyone starts talking about New Year's Resolutions.

It's also about 2 weeks before the time of year where everyone starts to fail at their New Year's Resolutions.

With these two points in mind, I decided to NOT make any resolutions but, instead, to look up the definition of a resolution and really think about what it meant.

Here are two of the definitions that stuck out to me.

Merriam-Webster

resolution:

1) the act or process of resolving; a:the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones

5) the point in a literary work at which the chief dramatic complication is worked out

This got me thinking about my last year and how it would affect any resolutions I did end up making. Those of you reading this probably know about most of it but some if this will be a little bit of a truth tell.

Honestly, this last year has probably been one of the hardest of my life. I joke with my roommate that if I can make it through 2009 (now only hours left) then I can make it through anything.

In the end of 2008 I lived with my sister for about 6 weeks before moving back to NC. I was thrilled to finally be moving "home" but it turned out to be harder than I'd ever expected. I found myself having an incredible amout of difficulty incorporating my "new" life:

the fact that I was still a student and had to study all night on top of working all day

into my "old" life:

getting to hang out with friends whenever I wanted, care free and extremely social

The struggle overwhelmed me and I found myself, more and more, pulling away and becoming extremely uncofortalbe in almost any social situation. I was exhausted and confused and overwhelmed. And no one seemed to understand. It was eaiser to just hide from it all. So I stopped....almost everything, almost all together.

The close of 2008 had brought illness to my sister, who spent the better part of December and January in and out of the hospital. Just as she began to take a turn for the better I got the call that my dad was sick.

Something that we'd all hoped would resolve within a month or two took almost the entire year. Enduring tests and treatments and eventually going to a specialist in California, there were times that I honestly couldn't imagine that he would ever get better. I watched as his body thinned and his muscles weakend and he became depressed and overwhelmed with anxiety. I spent my entire life feeling hurt by this man, and at the same time longing for nothing more than his love and approval. And now I was terrified of losing him.

I tried as hard as I could to put on a brave face. But inside I was crumbling.

In the beginning of July I got another horrible phone call. This one even worse than the first. My uncle had taken his own life. He'd been overwhelmed with life and medical complications and saw no other option to end the pain he was feeling.

Deep inside, the worst part was that I feared my father would do the same thing.

To make matters worse, the master's program I was attending (and only about 6 weeks from finishing) basically gave me an ultimatum. I could go to my uncle's funeral (missing only 1 day of class) or I could stay and they would let me graduate. Not exactly a "choice".

At this point I all but shut down. I started having horrible panic attacks. I cried constantly (but only in the privacy of my own room when I was by myself). Even something as familiar as going to church made my heart race and would make me gasp for breath that I just couldn't catch. Looking someone in the eye and having a real conversation with them terrified me.

In the middle of August I finally graduated with my Masters. My dad, weak as he was, made the trip to Philadelphia for the graduation and I was so happy to have him there. Not long after, he made the trip to CA, spending about 4 weeks getting treatments, and making some HUGE improvements in his condition. He returned home in order to regain as much strength as possible and was, amazingly, able to return to work the week before Thanksgiving.

In October I took my boards and walked out of the exam, tears filling my eyes, knowing that I had failed. I prayed for a miracle every waking minute. And only 2 days later I got a miracle in the form of an email letting me know I'd passed.

And now:

My sister is doing well. She will finish her residency in the spring and has accepted a position as a pediatrian at a hospital in Lancaster, PA.

My dad is also doing well. He regains strength little by little and is back to work! While he isn't 100% better, he is a thousand time improved!

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my uncle. His life and service to others was celebrated at the funeral. And though I wasn't able to be there physically, I remember him daily on my own.

And as for me....the anxiety attacks are ALMOST completely gone, thanks to nothing else but God who gives me no more than I can handle and who makes my yoke easy, and my burden light...if only i'd let Him.

I continue to search for a job and am hopeful that something will come very soon. I struggle daily to trust in His perfect plan.

I've chosen to spend my social time more wisely. More time with true friends and less time trying to make it to all of the social events. In the last 2 or 3 months the majority of my time has been filled with quality time with girlfriends (and often with their boyfriends or husbands and babies). And this time has been so much sweeter and such a blessing!

So now I look back to the "resolution". I think that I will NOT make any New Year's resolutions in the traditional sense. Instead, I look to resolve in the way it is defined.

My resolutions are hopes. Hopes that there is health and happines throughout my family. Hope that the "dramatic complications" of the year will be "worked out". Hopes that all of these "complex notions will be turned to simpler ones".

Hope for joy and trust and fullfillment and peace in none other than my Savior!

To desire only His love and approval.

The day before...

So this post is a little late....

But better late than never! Right?

The day before Jay and Laura's wedding we went to the NC State Fair.

This was my first of three trips this year!!!

Here are a few, strike that, a lot of pictures from the day

The happy couple, on our way in!

Chicken Fried Bacon? Seriously? I also heard rumors of chocolate dipped bacon.

Laura and I with our yummy corn!

Laura enjoying some deep fried oreo's

How can you go to the fair without seeing the baby piggies. I think there were 7 of them piled into this little bucket.

Andrea and I with a "healthy" treat, deep fried veggies!

Little Man Eli and me as we wait for the pig races to start

Jay with Laura (and Jay's) nephew on the ferris wheel.

Last, but not least, we stopped at the Old grist to get our free hush puppy!

What a fun day. We had great weather and got to see tons of friends while doing our favorite thing of the whole year! We LOVE the fair!

Tacky Tinsel Tour 2009

So, its been just about exactly one year sine my last Tacky Tinsel Tour post.

Last Friday night we had the 5th annual tour. This year the weather forgot to cooperate. It started snowing that afternoon and by the time we all arrived in Virginia (aka Su-Anne and Erin's place in North Raleigh) it was half sleeting half raining. For about half a second we considered not even going out for the tour, but oh am I glad that we did.

It rained the entire time so we didn't get out of the cars to take any pictures. But here is a picture of me and my car buddies Jason and Becca Redmond. Jason Estes and Su-Anne drove but I forgot to get a picture. Oops.

Here is a picture of Karoline and I in our "Tacky" outfits. We worked long and hard on these fashion forward pieces. The lettering on the front reads "Jesus is the reason for the season y'all"! These matching beauties were quite a hit at the party!

And last but not least is the most dashing and adorable Jay and Laura Veverka. A stunning sight if I've ever seen one. Laura with those fargyle socks (fake argyle) and Jay with those stunning lederhosen-esque (did I spell that right?) clad legs. This image is burned into my brain for eternity.

We rounded out the evening with a viewing of the movie ELF. Always a classic (or at least since it came out 6 years ago). It was a fun evening with good friends. Can't wait until the 6th annual tour!

Goals

Goals are good. Realistic goals are even better. Achieving those realistic goals, the best. I however, have accomplished none of this.

I'm a fail blogger. or at least I fail at blogging.

It is not for lack of effort or intention.

So, here I go again. I'm trying!

Jingle Ball 2009

The Jingle Ball is a Toy-raising event held in Raleigh every year that benefits the Salvation Army. This was the second year I have gone. Your admission to the party is to bring a toy and then once in they have dinner, drinks, a live band and a dj. It's always a fun time and another excuse to dress up and go dancing. Here's a few pictures from the evening!

Some of the group that went with us

Su-Anne and I (only about 1/4 of all the toys behind us)

Bobby and me

my sweet friend Susan and me

Maria, Meg (we're gonna miss you girl), me and Su-Anne

One crazy (expensive) day....

I shouldn't have been surprised that may day took a turn in a different direction than I had expected.  For me, the unexpected is pretty much the norm.  

I had to laugh when I was headed across town to get my oil changed.  I rolled up to a stop light and looked out my window to the left.  I found my self looking at a 20'something light brown haired girl in a black CR-V with an Elon Alum sticker and a Steelers sticker plastered on the back.  She smiled at me and I smiled back as did a double take.  Was I looking at myself, just with more flair?

Too weird.

I continued on to the Honda dealership where I get my oil changed - 

Let me interject here and calm all of you who are now jumping out of your skin ready to yell at me for taking my car to a dealer for a simple oil change.  Back when I had my Subaru I, mistakenly, took it to an "oil change" center where they proceeded to cut my fuel line and then tell me I didn't know what I was talking about when I told them it was the fuel line.  After reassuring the tech that I was not an idiot like he preconceived I was simply because I was a woman, he realized that he did, indeed, cut the fuel line.  They, of course, did not have the correct part to fix this problem so the trip turned into an all afternoon escapade while they tracked down correct part to fix the mistake.  For the next few years that I owned that car, without fail, it always had a faint smell of fuel leaking when I started it up.  Therefore, I have trust issues about taking my car to anywhere except the dealer for any kind of maintenance.

Back to the story....So I rolled up to the dealership where Melanie, my tech, greeted me and started to check my car in.  She kindly brought to my attention that my car inspection was overdue (by about 9 months) and offered to do that today as well. 

Why thank you Melanie, I would love to have the taken care of.  So the bill went from $35 to $65....Not too bad. 

Then Melanie, again quite kindly, brought to my attention the fact that my registration was also overdue.  Hmmm....guess I'll have to get that taken care of. 

An hour later and the oil change and inspection are finished.  

$65...cha ching!  

On to the DMV where I stood in line for 15 minutes in order to be told I was in the wrong place. 

On to the license plate center where I was in the correct place, but couldn't get my registration quite yet.  The rep there (I didn't catch her name) was just as kind as Melanie in brining to my attention the fact that I hadn't paid my car taxes last year, and without doing this I wouldn't be able to get my new registration.  Wonderful.  

Called the tax office where I was informed that my back taxes, in the amount of $271, could easily be paid over the phone.  

$271...cha ching!

Back in line and now all ready to get my new registration.  

$33...cha ching. 

So now I'm back home.  My afternoon went from expecting to spend about $35 to almost $400.  

The best part, since everything was overdue, and I was supposed to have done it all last September, I get to do it all over again THIS september!  woo hoo!

At least I'll be safe and legal for my drive to Phily tomorrow!